Mancow Learns that Waterboarding is Torture
Sheldon: Mancow, another talk-show host, now concedes after undergoing the experience that waterboarding is indeed torture. He had been trying to prove otherwise:
It is way worse than I thought it would be, and that's no joke,"Mancow said, likening it to a time when he nearly drowned as a child."It is such an odd feeling to have water poured down your nose with your head back...It was instantaneous...and I don't want to say this: absolutely torture."
"I wanted to prove it wasn't torture," Mancow said."They cut off our heads, we put water on their face...I got voted to do this but I really thought 'I'm going to laugh this off.'"
So far, only two defenders of Bush's foreign policy, Christopher Hitchens and Mancow, have been waterboarded. The experience led both to reluctantly admit that it is torture. Apparently, this is the only way to convince pro-war conservatives, or their fellow travelers, that waterboarding is torture. Another strategy is to recommend that advocates of torture devote an hour this week to reading what Lord Acton said about power instead of watching the next episode of"24."