CLIOPATRIA: A Group Blog

Ralph E. Luker

Listmania and Maturity ...

Nearly everyone and everything gets on somebody's list of things these days. Nearly everyone even gets to be compared with Adolf Hitler at some time or other. Haven't the Hitlees heard of Godwin's Law? Glenn Reynolds tipped me off to the HitLerist and Jon Dresner calls our attention to Orac's "Who's Hitler Today?" about it. It's a good index to the folly of our times.

And, though they seem to be inevitable, lists in general are an index to our folly. Caleb McDaniel's list of the 10 Most Harmful Books of the 20th Century is a commentary on the silliness of lists. My favorite commentary on the silliness of lists is Koko's "I've Got a Little List" from Gilbert and Sullivan's "Mikado." You probably know it well:

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found,
I've got a little list--I've got a little list
Of society offenders who might well be underground,
And who never would be missed--who never would be missed!
There's the pestilential nuisances who write for autographs–
All people who have flabby hands and irritating laughs–
All children who are up in dates, and floor you with 'em flat–
All persons who in shaking hands, shake hands with you like _that_–
And all third persons who on spoiling tete-a-tetes insist–
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS. He's got 'em on the list--he's got 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed.

There's the banjo serenader, and the others of his race,
And the piano-organist--I've got him on the list!
And the people who eat peppermint and puff it in your face,
They never would be missed--they never would be missed!
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusiastic tone,
All centuries but this, and every country but his own;
And the lady from the provinces, who dresses like a guy,
And who "doesn't think she waltzes, but would rather like to try";
And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist--
I don't think she'd be missed--I'm sure she'd not he missed!

CHORUS. He's got her on the list--he's got her on the list;
And I don't think she'll be missed--I'm sure she'll not be missed!

And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just now is rather rife,
The Judicial humorist--I've got him on the list!
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns of private life–
They'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed.
And apologetic statesmen of a compromising kind,
Such as--What d'ye call him--Thing'em-bob, and likewise--Never-mind,
And 'St--'st--'st--and What's-his-name, and also You-know-who--
The task of filling up the blanks I'd rather leave to you.
But it really doesn't matter whom you put upon the list,
For they'd none of 'em be missed--they'd none of 'em be missed!

CHORUS. You may put 'em on the list--you may put 'em on the list;
And they'll none of 'em be missed--they'll none of 'em be missed!
-- W. S. Gilbert

"Mikado" and its "I've Got a Little List" are parodies, of course. Our colleague, Jon Dresner, knows better than I do whether, when, and how Japanese people have found Gilbert and Sullivan's deliberate stereotyping offensive; but the stereotyping is so clear that it seems obvious that it mocks contemporary England every bit as much as it stereotypes Japan.

And so it is with lists: they tell you both about the lister and the things listed. I'm a bit like eb at No Important Matter. Having trouble organizing my priorities, my one priority is to make a list of things to do. It's almost as if my list is what I hope to be that day. Now, I don't speak for the Cliopatriarchs, but if I were making a list of who they are -- what they all have in common – I'd say that they are all:

1. Historians
Conversely, if I were making a list of who they are not, I would say, in descending order of certitude, that they are not:
1. Nazis
2. Communists
3. Objectivists
4. Right-Wingers
5. Libertarians
As I say, I'm less certain about it as you get to the bottom of the list. Some of us probably have greater libertarian instincts than others and I, certainly, have valued libertarian friends over at Liberty & Power. But I'm a little surprised that Chris Matthew Sciabarra at Liberty & Power calls my inclusion of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead on a list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries "obscene." A Visiting Scholar in the Department of Politics at New York University, Sciabarra is also a founding co-editor of The Journal of Ayn Rand Studies, so it's not surprising that he disagrees with my referring to Rand's work as "harmful." But he also crossposts his commentary at his own Notablog, where the criticism is more severe. There, a pseudonymous commentator, "Technomaget" courageously says of me:
"That guy is a moron if he:
1) Can't read her books and find out what she is saying in them.
2) Assuming that her ideas are responsible for the Me generation (that's a real stretch)
3) Creating a list that has no reasoning behind.
I might as well make a top ten morons of the year category and put him on it."
Well, Technomaggot, I've got some news for you: It's a free country and, since your dependent clause implying that I cannot read is false, it means that your conclusion is also false, but you are free to put me on any list of "morons" you want. I suspect that I'd enjoy the company on your list. And Chris Sciaberra is free to call whatever he wants to "obscene." But neither Sciaberra nor Technomaggot seem to get it: In a moment of weakness (it just seemed like years of agony), I read Ayn Rand and I don't worship at her shrine!

My lack of admiration for Ayn Rand is well known. Fourteen months ago, several of us crossed swords with the Randy libertarians at Liberty & Power -- Robert Campbell, Roderick Long, and Sciaberra -- when I agreed with Crooked Timber's Kieran Healy about the folly of Barnes & Noble stocking Rand's book on its Philosophy shelves. In January, I noted that, like others of our friends over at L & P, its new group member, Jason Kuznicki, was "hit in the head with a Randian brickbat when he was just a kid" but that he, at least, had gotten over it. Here, I recommended "The Fountainhead, Starring Skullforce", a parody of The Fountainhead to "the Randians-in-recovery" over at Liberty & Power."

Nor am I alone among the Cliopatriarchs in not admiring either Ayn Rand or her so-called philosophy. "Well," said Hugo Schwyzer, commenting at Volsunga on Human Events's original list of the Ten Most Harmful Books of the 19th and 20th Centuries and quoted at Slate, "if we lefties ever believed in banning books, we could come up with our own counter list. We could start with the works of William F. Buckley, Leo Strauss, Friedrich Hayek, and above all, number one on my list of harmful books: anything by Ayn Rand.
I can tolerate anyone, anyone, with two exceptions:
1. Folks who wear fur
2. Folks who developed an outlook on life from The Fountainhead."

With all due respect to my friends at Liberty & Power, my opinion is that Ayn Rand's Objectivism is in no meaningful sense a philosophy. It has more the character of a cult-like psychological disorder. If it persists into maturity, my shrink would call it: "delayed adolescent omnipotence."



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