Calling the troops ‘heroes’ is a lie that puts them — and democracy — in danger

... “All the hero stuff is more of a civilian phenomenon,” says Army Capt. Gary Stump, who served two tours in Iraq.[xxix]

It’s all about guilt among the 99 percent of Americans who won’t ever serve in the military, who make no sacrifices at all now that pandering politicians pay for their trillion-dollar wars with Chinese credit. Meanwhile we, the people lustily embrace those same politicians’ noble-sounding reasons and lies, reflexively cheering every new military venture — 72 percent approved the misguided invasion of Iraq — to be fought by other people’s sons and daughters. Then we cheer again when they — the live ones, anyway — come home.

Of course, cheering and hero worship do nothing for actual veterans who return home wounded, battling addictions or mental-health issues or just looking for a decent job. “The truth of war is that it’s always about loving the guy next to you,” Iraq war veteran Tausolo Aieti told author David Finkel. “The truth of the ‘after’ war is that you are on your own.”[xxx]

And here’s an embarrassing little secret many American men of a certain age won’t tell you: When we were growing up — late ‘70s, ‘80s, even ‘90s — we, like Dick Cheney, “had other priorities.”

“A lot of the men who are the loudest in supporting war tend to be the ones who are perfectly capable of serving but don’t,” Stump notes with disgust.[xxxi]

But now, having seen the respect accorded 21st-century soldiers, many of us feel a nagging inadequacy: Did I lose my only shot at proving my manhood, my worthiness, to my father, to women, to myself? As Col. Nathan R. Jessup barks in “A Few Good Men,” “We live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who’s gonna do it? You?” Ouch.

Maybe that explains why 50-year-old men spend hours playing soldier — zoned out on first-person shooter military video games, firing paintballs at each other, dressing in camo, or in a few cringe-worthy — though legal, the Supreme Court has found — cases, claiming service they didn’t do and wearing medals they didn’t earn.

Combat is no video game. But it’s a vivid experience, simultaneously entrancing, terrifying and degrading. In “the temple of Mars” that is war, Vietnam veteran and Navy Cross recipient Karl Marlantes “experienced transcendence and, momentarily, ecstasy. I also experienced flawed humanity and raw savagery, my own and that of others, beyond comprehension of most people.”[xxxii]

Men — almost exclusively men — who play-act and yearn for the experience of combat have the luxury of ignorance. As my grandfather’s letters from the Pacific attest, war offers far more boredom, loneliness and discomfort than combat thrills — which are, in any event, more terrifying and chaotic than any armchair warrior can possibly imagine....