Sam Roberts: Dot-Dot-Dot, Dash-Dash-Dash, No More
MRS. Sandoval," Homer Macauley said, "your son is dead. Maybe it's a mistake. Maybe it wasn't your son. Maybe it was somebody else. The telegram says it was Juan Domingo. But maybe the telegram is wrong."
Beginning in the mid-19th century, the telegram was the most immediate way of distributing news or sending a message. Whether it was one of those dreaded "regret to inform you" notices from the War Department that William Saroyan's Homer delivered in "The Human Comedy," or "send money" pleas or birthday congratulations, the arrival by hand of those yellow envelopes always seemed momentous. In that spirit, the evangelist Billy Graham was quoted as saying, "I am only a Western Union messenger boy, delivering a telegram from God to the door of humanity."
In 1929, Western Union and its army of uniformed messengers sent more than 200 million telegrams. By last year, that number had dwindled to 21,000. Bowing to e-mail and other technologies, the company dispatched its last telegram two weeks ago.
Following is a sampler of famous, infamous and apocryphal dispatches compiled from several sources, including "Telegram!," a book by Linda Rosenkrantz.
...
The telegram was soon embedded in American popular culture; it showed up at critical moments in plays and movies. In 1933, Western Union introduced the singing telegram and became the source of a famously macabre joke: A woman, finding a Western Union messenger at the door, exclaims: "Great, I've always wanted a singing telegram." No, she's told, it's just a regular telegram. The woman pleads. The messenger finally sings.
DUM DE DUM DUM DUM. YOUR SISTER ROSE IS DEAD.
•
Writers, of course, say the cleverest things. The humorist Robert Benchley, arriving in Venice for the first time, cabled Harold Ross, editor of The New Yorker.
STREETS FULL OF WATER. PLEASE ADVISE.
•
Mark Twain, like most writers, found it easier to write long than short. He received this telegram from a publisher:
NEED 2-PAGE SHORT STORY TWO DAYS.
Twain replied:
NO CAN DO 2 PAGES TWO DAYS. CAN DO 30 PAGES 2 DAYS. NEED 30 DAYS TO DO 2 PAGES.
[More examples are included in the Source link.]
Read entire article at NYT
Beginning in the mid-19th century, the telegram was the most immediate way of distributing news or sending a message. Whether it was one of those dreaded "regret to inform you" notices from the War Department that William Saroyan's Homer delivered in "The Human Comedy," or "send money" pleas or birthday congratulations, the arrival by hand of those yellow envelopes always seemed momentous. In that spirit, the evangelist Billy Graham was quoted as saying, "I am only a Western Union messenger boy, delivering a telegram from God to the door of humanity."
In 1929, Western Union and its army of uniformed messengers sent more than 200 million telegrams. By last year, that number had dwindled to 21,000. Bowing to e-mail and other technologies, the company dispatched its last telegram two weeks ago.
Following is a sampler of famous, infamous and apocryphal dispatches compiled from several sources, including "Telegram!," a book by Linda Rosenkrantz.
...
The telegram was soon embedded in American popular culture; it showed up at critical moments in plays and movies. In 1933, Western Union introduced the singing telegram and became the source of a famously macabre joke: A woman, finding a Western Union messenger at the door, exclaims: "Great, I've always wanted a singing telegram." No, she's told, it's just a regular telegram. The woman pleads. The messenger finally sings.
DUM DE DUM DUM DUM. YOUR SISTER ROSE IS DEAD.
•
Writers, of course, say the cleverest things. The humorist Robert Benchley, arriving in Venice for the first time, cabled Harold Ross, editor of The New Yorker.
STREETS FULL OF WATER. PLEASE ADVISE.
•
Mark Twain, like most writers, found it easier to write long than short. He received this telegram from a publisher:
NEED 2-PAGE SHORT STORY TWO DAYS.
Twain replied:
NO CAN DO 2 PAGES TWO DAYS. CAN DO 30 PAGES 2 DAYS. NEED 30 DAYS TO DO 2 PAGES.
[More examples are included in the Source link.]